Key Points
- Host Aoi reflects on her habit of using the term “ojisan” (middle-aged man) as a catch-all label for anyone she finds unpleasant or problematic.
- The discussion highlights the contradiction between advocating for individuality and using broad demographic categories to criticize behavior.
- The speakers explore how “ojisan” has become a socially acceptable target for “hate” in contexts like feminism and social activism, often representing systemic privilege.
- They conclude that attacking a demographic “attribute” rather than specific actions is a form of verbal violence that should be avoided.
Full Transcript (English)
Aoi: Hello. Today’s theme is “I want to apologize to ‘ojisan’.”
Mutsumi: What do you mean by that?
Aoi: Well, I’ve been reflecting lately. I’m not talking about any specific person, but I realized I’ve been using the word “ojisan” to describe anyone I find a bit annoying or “off.” We always talk about seeing people as individuals and not grouping them together, yet I caught myself doing exactly that with this word. I realized this isn’t right.
Aoi: I’m curious to hear your thoughts, Mutsumi. Do you use the word “ojisan” in that way, or do you feel it’s okay or not okay?
Mutsumi: I think I try not to use it. For one thing, I feel like I can’t judge a person’s attributes just by looking at them. I don’t know their gender identity or their background, so I try to avoid labeling them. When you look at social structures, you see “cisgender men” of a certain age holding privilege, but even within that group, there are many who want to change the system. If we lump them all together, it must be painful for those who are trying.
Aoi: Exactly. In the context of feminism or generation gaps, “ojisan” often becomes the target because they represent the “loud” or “powerful” segment of society. It’s used as a counter-argument to say, “We want you to listen to the voices of women in their 20s and 30s or those raising children.” I understand that context, but I feel like using the word this way will eventually backfire.
Aoi: We don’t want to be categorized ourselves, yet we are doing it to others. It’s a double standard. For example, on social media, you see posts about train seats—how women prefer sitting next to other women because they take up less space, and then it turns into “This is why I hate ojisan; they’re big and they smell.” The “hate” starts gathering toward this abstract concept of “ojisan” rather than a specific individual.
Aoi: I don’t want to be misunderstood; there are individual cases where a man might be taking up too much space or acting inappropriately, and that behavior should be criticized. But using “ojisan” as the subject of that criticism generalizes everyone in that category. It feels like society finds it “easy” to attack “ojisan” compared to other groups like “young women” or “elderly women.”
Mutsumi: It’s true. Whether it’s “activists,” “vegans,” or “ojisan,” once you start attacking the category, you lose sight of the individual. It leads to image manipulation and unnecessary suffering.
Aoi: It’s just easier to say “ojisan” than “a middle-aged man who did X.” But we should stop. We can criticize the behavior or the social structure without attacking the attribute. Let’s work on finding better ways to express these issues together.
Mutsumi: I agree. Let’s reflect on how we use our words.
