Key Points
- Hosts Mutsumi and Kamai explore the origins of their apologizing styles, noting that “how to apologize” is rarely taught in a formal setting.
- Kamai shares a professional anecdote from her time at a TV station, where she learned to turn a protocol error into a moment of gratitude and learning.
- Mutsumi reflects on a formative high school experience where her teacher took full responsibility for her mistake, teaching her the value of an apology without excuses.
- The discussion touches on the philosophy of apologies, emphasizing that saying “sorry” is not a “get-out-of-jail-free card” and must be backed by a sincere attitude and corrective action.
Full Transcript (English)
Mutsumi: Hello.
Kamai: Hello.
Mutsumi: Since this is being posted in the morning, good morning.
Kamai: Good morning! That felt a little forced.
Mutsumi: Well, it is a morning post. Today, I want to talk about when we learned how to apologize. Kamai, have you ever had to give a “mega-apology”?
Kamai: A mega-apology? Like, something that a simple “I’m sorry” couldn’t fix?
Mutsumi: Exactly. A major blunder.
Kamai: I have. Back when I worked at a TV station, I once asked a department head from a different section for a small favor. He told me, “That’s not something you ask me directly; it should go from your boss to me.” I had skipped the proper chain of command. At the time, I thought, “What’s the big deal?” but I knew I had to apologize. Instead of just saying sorry, I said, “Thank you so much for teaching me that. I didn’t realize the protocol, and I’ll make sure my boss contacts you immediately.” I combined the apology with gratitude for the lesson.
Mutsumi: That’s a situation where you weren’t even really in the wrong, but you handled it so well.
Kamai: It was a social rule I didn’t know. By showing gratitude, I was able to calm his anger. What about you?
Mutsumi: I’ve had a few. On a high school trip abroad, I was the group leader. I got us completely lost. We had to be at a restaurant by a certain time or the whole class couldn’t eat. I was panicking, running around outside the area of the map we were given. I had to use a local’s phone to call my teacher and have him explain where we were. My whole class was waiting for us to start dinner. I felt so guilty I cried until the flight home.
Kamai: That sounds intense.
Mutsumi: Another time, at a school festival, I accidentally ordered ten times the amount of food we needed. My teacher went to the festival committee head and apologized deeply without making any excuses, even though it wasn’t his mistake. Seeing him take responsibility like that was so cool to me. I learned that a real apology means no excuses.
Kamai: We don’t really get taught “how to apologize” in school, do we? We learn it from watching others in clubs or our communities.
Mutsumi: Exactly. You pick it up from role models.
Kamai: I also realized as an adult that “I’m sorry” isn’t an indulgence. If I mess up and hurt you, saying sorry doesn’t just erase the mistake. It can even be selfish if you’re just saying it to make yourself feel better.
Mutsumi: I get that. Sometimes a loud, performative apology is just a way to stop the other person from being able to express their anger.
Kamai: Right. It’s about the attitude. Like today, I was ten minutes late because the train stopped. I know you’re strict about punctuality, so I felt terrible.
Mutsumi: I’m actually pretty lenient! I’ll wait two hours. But if someone is two hours late and doesn’t even say sorry, then I have a problem. It’s about the respect shown in the apology.
Kamai: I’m bad with time, so I try to set my alarms extra early for important things because I know my weakness. I’ve learned to compensate for my flaws.
Mutsumi: And I’m bad with typos. I have them 98% of the time. It’s a miracle if I don’t. We all have things we’re good and bad at, but it’s not always about a lack of effort.
Kamai: True. But when we do fail, it’s about how we handle it—sincerity and showing that we value the other person’s time and feelings. That’s the real art of the apology.
Mutsumi: Well, that was our talk on apologizing. Thank you for listening.
Kamai: Thank you!
